[영성 일기] #2 "농장에서"

 

 

<농장에서>

즐거운 주말 가족이랑 맛있는 파이를 먹으러 Glenorie Bakery Cafe에 가게 되었다. 집에서 차로 30분 밖에 걸리지 않는 거리여서 오전에 카페를 갔다 귤을 따러 가려고 계획을 했다. 카페에서 파이를 다 먹고 카페 근처에 귤 나무가 있어서 보러 가려고 했는데 아쉽게도 그 근처에는 나무에 귤 열리지 않았다. 그래서 우리는 계획을 바꾸어 드리이브 겸 ferry를 타러 가기로 결정했다. 열심히 30분을 운전을 해서 Ferry 타는 강에 도착을 했는데... 그 바로 앞에 귤 농장이 보였다. 그래서 우리는 Ferry를 타는 계획을 뒤로하고 다시 귤 농장을 알아 보았다. 하지만 눈 앞에 보이는 귤 농장은 한 달 뒤에 개장한다는 것을 인터넷으로 찾아 알게 될 수 있었다. 아쉬운 마음에 다시 다른 곳을 알아 보았고 30분을 더 가야 귤 농장이 있다는 것을 알게 되었다. 그래서 다시 방향을 바꾸어 귤 농장으로 달려 갔다. 와이프랑 나랑 완전한 계획형이 아니라는 사실을 알게 되었고, 즉흥적인 것을 즐기는 사람이라는 것을 알 수 있었다. 

 결국, 우리가 원하던 귤 농장에 도착을 했다. 주차장에 차량 3대가 있었다. 이것은 분명히 누군가 귤을 따러 왔다는 확증적인 사인이었다. 그래서 우리 가족은 차에서 내려 급히  카운터로 향했지만 주인이 없었고 농장에 사람들이 귤을 따고 있는 모습 보았다. 당연히 그쪽에 주인이 사람들한테 어떻게 따는지 설명을 하고 있는 것 같았다. 그래서 나도 그쪽으로 향해 그 무리에게 가서 여기 주인이 누구냐고 물었는데 주인이 없다 말을 했다. 그래서 그럼 어떻게 해야 되냐고 물었는데 먼저 시작하고 다 따고 나중에 주인이 오면 그때 말하라는 말에 우리 가족은 귤을 따러 바구니를 들고 따기 시작했다. 

 아내랑 딸이랑 같이 열심히 귤을 따고 조그마한 바구니 두 개를 가득 채워 이제 나가려고 했고 계산을 해야 되는데 주인이 오지 않았고 몇 분간 계속 주인을 기다렸다. 그 지역에는 전화 신호도 잘 터지지 않는 지역이었고 역시나 주인한테 전화를 해도 받지 않았다. 그래서 그냥 가면 안될 것 같아서 그 담은 바구니에 "Pay Here"이라는 문구를 만들고 우리가 내야 할 금액을 넣고 가려는 참에 어떤 한 아저씨를 만나게 되었다. 

그 아저씨가 주인이 어디 있냐고 나에게 물었다. 그래서 전화를 해도 받지 않고 아까 어떤 따는 사람이 먼저 따고 나중에 주인에게 계산하면 된다고 했다라고 그대로 전했다. 하지만 그 아저씨께서는 가만히 인상을 쓰고 있었다. 그 옆에 그 아저씨 아내가 "우리도 가서 따서 먹자"라고 말하자 아저씨가 "주인이 없는데 그렇게 하는 게 말이되?"라고 인상을 쓰며 뒷짐을 지고 묵묵히 그 자연 풍경만 보고 있었다. 

그때 나는 내가 잘 못했다는 것을 인식했다. 주인의 허락 없이 그냥 먼저 따러 온 사람의 말을 듣고 범죄 한 것이었다. 내가 돈을 지불을 했어도 주인의 허락 없이 귤을 딴 것이 나에게는 엄청난 죄책감을 그 아저씨로 통해 느끼게 해주었다. 

귤과 함께 그 지역을 벗어나서 늦은 점심을 먹으러 다시 전화가 터지는 데로 이동하면서 계속 마음이 불편했고 아내 또한 마음이 불편해했다. 

그래서 다시 주인에게 전화를 걸었다. 주인 전화를 받았다. 그래서 이렇게 말했다. "내가 너의 농장에 갔었다. 그런데 너에게 허락도 받지 않고 귤을 땄다. 정말 미안하다. 바구니에 내가 썼던 바구니와 귤 값을 넣고 왔다." 그랬더니 주인은 "괜찮다. 내 잘 못이다. 너 잘못 없다."라고 말을 해주었다. 

전화를 끊고 나서 정말로 하나님께 죄송한 마음이 들었다. 그리고 나의 죄인 됨을 보게 되었다. 무엇을 하든지 주인에게 묻고 시작을 해야 되는데 내 인생에서 얼마나 하나님께 묻고 일을 진행하는지 다시 내 삶을 점검하게 되었다. 

이 일이 있고 나서 나는 연약함이 무엇인지 발견하게 되었다. 주님의 음성을 듣지 못한 죄를 회개합니다.

 

<나의 마음>

[요10:27] 내 양은 내 음성을 들으며 나는 그들을 알며 그들은 나를 따르느니라

[사53:6] 우리는 다 양 같아서 그릇 행하여 각기 제 길로 갔거늘 여호와께서는 우리 모두의 죄악을 그에게 담당시키셨도다

 

<주인의 마음>

[눅17:3] 너희는 스스로 조심하라 만일 네 형제가 죄를 범하거든 경고하고 회개하거든 용서하라

[엡4:32] 서로 친절하게 하며 불쌍히 여기며 서로 용서하기를 하나님이 그리스도 안에서 너희를 용서하심과 같이 하라

 

---

<On the farm>

On a fun weekend, I went to Glenorie Bakery Cafe to eat delicious pies with my family. Since it was only a 30-minute drive from home, I planned to go to a cafe in the morning and go tangerine picking. After finishing the pie at the cafe, I tried to go see the tangerine trees near the cafe, but unfortunately, there were no tangerines growing on the trees nearby. So we changed our plans and decided to go for a drive and a ferry ride. After driving for 30 minutes, I arrived at the river where I could take the ferry... and I saw a tangerine farm right in front of it. So we left our plan to take the ferry and looked into tangerine farms again. However, I was able to find out on the Internet that the tangerine farm in front of me was opening in a month.Feeling disappointed, I looked for another place and found out that I had to go another 30 minutes to find a tangerine farm. So I changed direction again and ran to the tangerine farm. I found out that my wife and I are not completely planning types, and that I am someone who enjoys being spontaneous.

 

In the end, we arrived at the tangerine farm we wanted. There were three cars in the parking lot. This was clearly a confirmatory sign that someone had come to pick tangerines. So my family got out of the car and quickly headed to the counter, but the owner was not there and we saw people picking tangerines at the farm. Of course, it seemed like the owner was explaining to people how to pick. So I went there and asked the group who the owner was, but they said there was no owner. So, I asked what I should do, and I was told to start first, pick everything, and then tell the owner later when he comes, so my family took a basket and started picking tangerines.

My wife and daughter and I worked hard to pick tangerines, filled two small baskets, and were about to leave. We had to pay, but the owner didn't come and we kept waiting for him for several minutes. The phone signal wasn't working well in that area, and even when I called the owner, he didn't answer. So, I thought I couldn't just go, so I made the phrase "Pay Here" in the basket and was about to put the amount we had to pay and leave when I met a man.

The man asked me where the owner was. So, even when I called, he didn't answer and just told me that someone who picked earlier said he could pick first and pay the money to the owner later. But the man was quietly frowning. Next to him, the man's wife said, "Let's go and pick and eat," and the man frowned, "Does it make sense to do that when there's no owner?" He turned his back and just looked at the natural scenery in silence.

It was then that I recognized that I had not done well. He committed a crime by simply listening to the person who picked it first without the owner's permission. Even though I had paid, the man made me feel extremely guilty for picking the tangerines without the owner's permission.

As I left the area with Tangerine and went back to the phone to have a late lunch, I continued to feel uncomfortable, and my wife also felt uncomfortable.

So I called the owner again. I received a phone call from the owner. So I said this. “I went to your farm. But I picked tangerines without your permission. I’m really sorry. I put the basket I used and the money for the tangerines in the basket.” Then the owner said, "It's okay. It's my fault. It's not your fault."

After I hung up the phone, I really felt sorry to God. And I saw that I was a sinner. Whatever you do, you have to ask the owner before you start, and I was able to examine my life again to see how much I ask God before proceeding with my work.

After this incident, I discovered what weakness is. I repent of my sin of not hearing the voice of the Lord.

 

<My Heart>

[John 10:27] My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

[Isaiah 53:6] All of us, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way, but the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

 

<Master's Heart>

[Luke 17:3] Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, warn him; and if he repents, forgive him.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.

 

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